I took the girls to school, came back home, took a long hot shower in hopes of jump starting my sluggish humanity, and headed back to the school to volunteer for an hour while Jo stayed at our friends' house.
Spent 60 minutes reading with six children in second grade. Checked on Tori to make sure that this morning's tummy ache was gone, kissed her goodbye, talked to her teacher for a minute, and left. This elementary school may not be the best in the country, but that place is a nice, happy place.
I got in the car and double-checked with my friend about her offer to keep Jo longer this time so I could finish my Christmas shopping. I turned on the radio and heard the news of the shooting in an elementary school in Connecticut. I froze. 20 children between the ages of 5 and 10, dead.
I had just spent an hour at our elementary school, and left my girls there not ever thinking that something could go so severely wrong.
Tears come rushing and roll freely down my face while my brain tries to wrap itself around what it's hearing. Sheer shock and sorrow. The reality of death has rudely shaken me again. But little children??!!! I found a parking spot and wept for several minutes.
Anger starts creeping in along with the sadness. I can't help but curse all the ideologies against gun control.
How many times does this have to happen? How many innocent people, how many children, will this country have to lose in acts of violence? How much damage is enough before it's enough? We condemn the violence that children face in Syria or Palestine. We gasp at the suffering of little girls whose genitals are mutilated. We shake our finger at history and it's proof of the abuse endured by slave children.
And what about the children right here? What are the citizens of this world-leading country doing to protect their most vulnerable?
A fever is not an illness. The flu is. An infection is. Chicken pox is an illness. The fever that comes with it is merely a symptom that is not even always a good indicator of the severity of the illness itself.
A person is not sick because of the fever, but when the temperature is high enough, say 105°F or higher, it is a concern and doctors will try to bring it down and keep it controlled in order to avoid any other serious complications.
Some people say guns are not the problem: "guns don't kill people, people kill people". Well, guns are becoming a 180°F fever. And people who are ill are using them in sick ways and it is bringing devastating consequences. Fighting guns with guns is not a viable solution, so what is there to do?
There has got to be tighter gun control in order to protect ourselves while somehow we take care of the problem at the root of all this hurt. Let's control guns, heal our hearts and minds, and then see what other safer options lay in the future.
I cannot even pretend that I could somehow identify and explain the cause of all this violence, but at the same time I believe that the answer doesn't lie far from us.
There are people who have suffered tremendous losses. I am with them whole heartedly. My heart also aches for those who are so lost, so hopeless, so erratic, that they think unspeakable violence is an answer.
One of my chilean friends shared a post on facebook about today's news. It said: "Today I will hug my children tighter than ever, and I will be happy to live in an under-developed country, but at least less sick". He's right.
This country is a good country, but some things are going terribly wrong. This country is in serious need of a healing hug. Something that will make everyone feel that everything will be ok, so long as we keep our priorities straight and our hearts open. A hug far-reaching enough, that will let anyone who's unravelled so, to know that there is a better way out. A hug far-reaching enough that will let anyone who's suffering know that there is hope.
