A Case for Far Away Closeness

On Friday Tia Alicia passed away.
When I was told that she had died I realized something that has been bothering me since.

Alicia was born and raised in southern Chile. She was Ester's and Manuel's first child. My father was their youngest of a total of 5.
Of all the siblings, they are the only two that moved and established in Santiago, the capital city.
They lived in opposite sides of the city and I only remember going to visit her once. Once.
I mainly saw her in the summers when we visited the family in the south at around the same time. Even then, I don't remember seeing her after the mid-90's except in 2008 for Ester's funeral.

I know a few facts about her. She was strikingly beautiful. I often stared at the pictures of her that hung on my grandparents walls wondering if I could really be related to someone so gorgeous. I mean, really beautiful.

From what I gathered from the adult conversations I overheard (because there was nothing else for me to do there), she was a rebellious young lady and rather conceited. She was used to getting all the attention from the guys. So when a handsome man started frequenting their house she was convinced that he was in love with her, but turned out that he was really after her younger sister. Classic.

She smoked. She smoked a lot and I don't know if she ever quit.

I don't know if she was ever married. She had a daughter who for the first few years was raised by the grandparents. This daughter of hers (my cousin) is one of the nicest people you will ever meet, and so is her husband. I hardly ever saw them.

She claimed to be a hairdresser, but I have doubted that ever since that summer when my mother let her give me the worst haircut possible. Good grief, I was already feeling awkward in my body.

She seemed to be a fun lady, but I am not sure that she got along very well with the rest of the family, at least for a long time. I suppose that time helps past hurts be soothed and forgotten, but I wonder why we were such a distant extended family. Because I don't really remember having much interaction with any of them.

I am the youngest child of the youngest child on both paternal and maternal sides of our family and I wasn't even planned, so there is an 8 year difference between me and my next older brother. I was an afterthought to most aunts, uncles and cousins and I understand that, it is all about timing. We also lived far away from most relatives. These and a few other reasons that I won't bore you with right now, are why I think that I became detached from my extended family.

So there I was Friday night receiving the news about Tia Alicia when I realized that my family now lives far away from every relative imaginable and I am not doing much to prevent this detachment from happening to my girls.

"The family is ordained of God" and although the nuclear family is most important, there are valuable things to be gained from everyone in the family tree. And there are things that we can give them in return.

SO, it is now time to dust the cobwebs of family togetherness despite the distance. There are many ways that will help us get to know, love and cherish our far away family even more. So that we won't have regrets like this one.
I don't know why we visited Tia Alicia only once. But now that I am in charge of this boat, I want to make sure that our family is a very close extended family.

Here's the Mail, it Never Fails...

Thursday was a good day mainly because of one thing: MAIL. It really made me want to wag my tail.

I got a very sweet note from an old friend who was randomly thinking of me and cared to write to me... with her own hand and pen. Via snail mail. What a nice thing to do for me and really for anyone who could use a little pick me up. Thank you Amy O.!

I have always been awful with mail. I get it from my mother (yes, I am blaming her). Christmas cards is as far as I go. That must change, because if something so simple made my day, then I want to do it for someone else.

That day I also got a package (I know! lucky!) from a friend I haven't met but already love. You see, I joined this little package exchange group where we swap names and info and dear ole Amy sets us up in pairs to send each other a care package. I was reluctant to join at first because it implies a deadline, and I automatically think that I'll miss it, but I am so glad I did.

Saturday, Sofia received a note in the mail from her 2nd grade teacher, thanking her for the flowers she had given her the day before (the day before! regular mail must not be so snail-ish after all). Notes through the mail are now on my "top 5 ways to make your child feel special" list. I mean, nothing is stopping me from sending letters to my own girlies. I should, even though it would be faster to hand deliver them, there is something magical about opening that box and finding an envelope with your name hand written on it.

Mail.

Mail is good for the soul. It connects people in such a different way than cyberspace does because in it's inconvenience it shows how much you care. I firmly believe it. I really do. Maybe next time you open your mailbox you will find a note from me, and it will make you want to wail "MAIL!".

What do you think about mail? what is your favorite thing to find in your box? I'm sure is not bills...

Random facts of the Day

I went to the dentist today (again) and lived to tell the story (again).

It rained almost all day.

Crocheted flowers with my beautiful friends Tiffany and Ann. I love them. I always feel comfortable around them.

Sara couldn't go to the 5th grade's "No Tardy Party" because... well... through the school year she was tardy plenty times.

Find myself bothered by all the movie watching being done at school these last few days.

Dinner was so so today.

Sofia made a really cool hat out of paper. She keeps coughing at bedtime. I wish it would stop.

Damon just switched the laundry load for me. Mmmmm.... laundry.

Jo has taken up high-pitch screaming once more. Thought we were getting over that.

Tori is done with preschool and has communicated to me that she would like to move onto Kindergarten next year. We had planned a second year of preschool. What to do?

Only four more days of school!

Year End Blowout

Two weeks. That's all we have left of school. The year began in August 2009, yet these are the weeks jam packed with projects, field trips, book reports, presentations, class parties, events etc. Oh, throw in a preschool graduation, mother in law visiting (but she has been great help), and dentist visits to the mix too.

If I live through these next days I'll live through anything. Maybe.

I am tired. Fun tired with a hint of tears of exhaustion.

Thank goodness for Kristi who single handedly put an outfit together for Sara's school function last week. Thank goodness for my hubs who the morning of put together Sofia's slide show for her shindig.

This morning, Sara and the neighbor Sunni found a nest with 3 robin eggs and the dead mama lying on the sidewalk. I got to find where to take the nest and drive aaaalll the way to Ogden for the second time today; and forgot to take pictures of it. Hope the chics make it. Hope I make it.

In the Motherhood

Another mother's day has come and gone. I had a good one. Did you?

Motherhood has been on my mind lately, actually it's always on my mind because I have 4 constant reminders ("mom look!", "mom i need...", "mom she's bugging me", "mom! help!", "mooooooommm!", and even "mom, don't you know?")

There are two general feelings that thus far have been associated with my mothering experience: exhaustion and joyful love.

Home life is relentless, it takes no breaks. It is overwhelming at times, and although so many people say that these young demanding years go by so fast, there are days or weeks, that feel endless. Diaper after diaper. Homework after homework. Meal after stinking meal.

But then there is that other side of the coin.

The love.

There is no possible replacement for the love that I feel and receive from my daughters. It is almost magic the way they take over my life and at the same time add to it.
I have lost myself in my daughters and at the same time I have found the real me. They have forced me to define what really matters to me. What I am capable of. The things that I would like to make happen. How I feel about my life and theirs.
Oh, how I love them.
And when I feel this love, cooking a meal, helping with yet another school project, finding a bandaid, changing a diaper, they all become more joyful.

I love mothering.

Most my shirts are stained, my hands are "well worn", my good hair days are just a matter of luck and the list of things I would like to do is tucked somewhere I forgot. Bring me all those people who would dare criticize me or any woman for choosing this life. Bring them on and I'll show them there is nothing, nothing better I could be doing right now. I choose to not be distracted by anything less important. I choose to leave the rest for later. Because as for now, I have chosen to work towards becoming a well rounded, intelligent, bold, loving, talented and some days maybe even good looking mom.

I thank my Father in Heaven for this amazing blessing and responsibility he has given me. I often fall short, but I know that with God's help and the help of so many amazing women I know (moms or not) I can achieve my full potential as a mother and a woman.