About Running and Growing Up

My oldest, 14 year old Sara, is participating in her school's track team again this year. She runs the 800. Her choosing to do this again this season baffles me because running, unlike many other of the things she does, is not something that seems to come easy to her. But she's at it again, in what she has made to be a race against herself to discover how far she can push. I find this so brave and admirable.

So yesterday afternoon found the both of us at the doctor's office for her physical. Typical questions, check, check, check; breath in and out, check; lymph nodes, thyroid, abdomen, check, check, check. What about shin splints? do this and that, check; talk about her girly cycle now that it has become part of the process, check. Height? check (now officially taller than me btw); weight? check; pee? fine; hemoglobin? ok; eyes? check. Scoliosis? not to worry.

Then the doctor with such matter-of-fact calm, informed me that at this point of her development Sara's body is probably done growing. "Maybe there's another inch in her, but this is about it".

W O W

I felt like having a minute of silence right there, in honor of my daughter and all her hard work making her body grow so beautiful. A minute of silence to stare at her, take a deep breath and say, well, there you go, we've done it.

In one of those flashbacks that last only a couple of seconds yet you see decades of your life, I could see myself holding Sara as a newborn, wondering what she would look like when she grew up. Wondering about her personality, her tastes, her voice even. 

I saw myself as a rookie mom in tears over our breast feeding drama. 

I saw her as a toddler and all the many meals, all the times I told her to eat her dinner so she could grow big and strong.  

All the visits to the doctor's office through the years, weighing, measuring, making sure that she was growing healthy. 

And there she was, sitting on that exam table again, being all done growing. 

I was looking at my grown up child. This is what she looks like, this is who she is. A humbling, exciting, emotional flashback.

Although flawed, my mothering of Sara has been done with so, so much love and I find her to be delightfully fabulous.

She's so young, with worlds more to learn, discover, live, and share. So many more races to run. But the doctor's words make it feel like the foundation is done and now it is time to start building up. I hope that as a mom I did a decent job helping her with that foundation and that we made it "big and strong". 

The dice have been rolled. Is it too late for me to try to clean up my act and feed her a better breakfast in the morning?