A Redemption From Poor Parenting

Do you ever have the kind of day/month/year when you are certain you have turned out to be a complete failure as a parent? You are so sure you are messing things up, you are mentally preparing yourself for the day when your grownup children will come to you with a mile-long list of complaints and accusations? I can hear it right now in my head: "How could you, mother?!"

That kind of day/month/year comes around my turf often.  I love being a mother, I have great girls, but in those times when I am in the mindset of failure as a parent, their greatness is more a result of... I don't really know...

Anywho, in my preparation for that day of doom when my daughters realize that all along they could have had it better, I am making a list of comebacks. Here's what I have so far:

1. GrownUp Child: Mother, I can't believe you would take me out in public with that hair! Didn't you     know that that's what hairbrushes are for?!
   Me: At least I brought you back home. I could have left you somewhere, you know...

2.  GUC: Why would you wait until 8:30pm to start thinking about what you would make for dinner?! we could have starved to death!
    Me: You didn't.

3. GUC: Do you realize you took me late to school 80% of the time?
    Me: It could have been 81%

4.  GUC: If I a had been you, I would have...
    Me: Don't even go there.

As you can see, my list so far is short and weak. But I have one thing. THE one thing that I know we have done right. I am counting on this one to be a good "so there you go".
Notice I say "we have done right". If I am going to rip myself apart as a parent, I might as well throw my accomplice into the mix. I mean, let's be fair.
I also say "we" because the one thing I am sure we have done right happened to be his idea. It figures.

A few years ago, the hubster decided he wanted to arm himself with a pile of picture books that none of the girls had read before. A SECRET STACK OF BOOKS. Oooh, sounds sneaky, doesn't it?
Since the library has a 3-week loan period, we check out around 20 books at a time so we have a healthy stock of stories to choose from. We pick books that look interesting, bring them home, hide them in our closet and after dinner we pull one out to read together.

We pick them randomly, and without sifting through them too much. The illustrations of the story are the main parameter we use to judge whether the book will be any good or not, we don't really read them ahead, trusting picture books to be appropriate for children.  So the secret stack of books really is secret, because not even we really know the book we will be reading at any given night (unless we've chosen an old favorite).

So picture this: Dinner is over (very late), we pick up (sort of), either Damon or I go get a book from the closet and return to the living room announcing that "It's time for..." at which the girls reply in unison and in a sing-song kind of way:"SECRET STACK OF BOOOOOOKS!"with the pitch going painfully high on the word "boooooks!". Then we all seat on our stain ridden couch for a brief session of togetherness, sponsored by the book of the night. Even our 13 year old still seats and listens along, because there are a few things more intriguing than an unheard story about to be told. Oh, the joy. Something has gone right for a change.

To add to this modest success, after we are done reading and talking about the story, we read two pages of The Book of Mormon as a family with virtually no whining. The advantages of that are countless.

∗Disclaimer: I should make clear before continuing with my account, that although this is meant to be done every night, there are many nights when it just simply doesn't happen. Sometimes it takes us several days to replenish the secret stack once we've read it all.∗ 

So there it is. The truth has come out. I am not perfect. Shocking, I know, but I am counting on a couple of things that I/we have done right to redeem me from the endless torment of poor parenting. The Secret Stack of Books has been heaven sent and I am holding on to it like there is no tomorrow.

When you find yourself in one of those pitiful days/months/years, look for the things you have done right and make sure you keep some sort of record of them, 'cause if you are anything like me, you'll need them later.

How do you keep up with the return dates, you ask? Let me just say that our family has been single handedly financing our little library on late fees alone. But it's worth it, we need this item on the comeback list. And if the children complain about that too, then my comeback would be "you owe me cazillions in late fees, start emptying those pockets".